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The heterosexuality of Abraham Lincoln β , the 16th President of the United States , has been questioned by some activists. Lincoln was married to Mary Todd from November 4, , until his death on April 15, , and fathered four children with her. Lincoln and Mary Todd met in Springfield in and became engaged in It was at the same time as the collapse of a legislative program he had supported for years, the permanent departure of his best friend Joshua Speed from Springfield, and the proposal by John Stuart, Lincoln's law partner, to end their law practice.
That was "the date on which Lincoln asked to be released from his engagement to Mary Todd". The incident was not fully documented, but Lincoln did become unusually depressed, which showed in his appearance, and Simon wrote that "it was traceable to Mary Todd". Jean H. Baker , historian and biographer of Mary Todd Lincoln, describes the relationship between Lincoln and his wife as "bound together by three strong bondsβsex, parenting and politics". Lincoln, Baker discounts historic criticism of the marriage.
She says that contemporary historians have a basic misunderstanding of the changing nature of marriage and courtship in the midth century, and attempt to judge the Lincoln marriage by modern standards. Baker notes that "most observers of the Lincoln marriage have been impressed with their sexuality". Some "male historians" suggest that the Lincolns' sex life ended either in after their son Tad's difficult birth or in when they moved into a bigger house, but have no evidence for their speculations.
Baker writes that there are "almost no gynecological conditions resulting from childbirth" other than a prolapsed uterus which would have produced other noticeable effects on Mrs. Lincoln that would have prevented intercourse, and in the s, "many middle-class couples slept in separate bedrooms" as a matter of custom adopted from the English.
Far from abstaining from sex, Baker suggests that the Lincolns were part of a new development in America of smaller families; the birth rate declined from seven births to a family in to around 4 per family by As Americans separated sexuality from child bearing, forms of birth control such as coitus interruptus , long-term breast feeding, and crude forms of condoms and womb veils , available through mail order, were available and used.