Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. I feel bad when Conor sometimes becomes a part of my gross life. So it works the other way too. Speaking of which, not to derail, but I have to cover another element of prostitution that astounded me when I started: Men, why are you all so bad at sex? A lot of you are pretty much terrible at it. How can you want something so badly and perform it so poorly? Admittedly, claiming all men are bad at sex from data collected from my clients is perhaps a sampling error.
The single guys usually resign themselves to escorts and masturbation and the married guys⦠well, they resign themselves to escorts and masturbation. Get your head in game, guys. Firstly, stop jerking off with the G. Joe Kung Fu Vice Grip. It will make it impossible to get off with an honest to God vagina. Secondly, clitorises clitori? Plurals of genitals are always confusing are indeed north of the vag.
But not directly north of it. That hurts. Not pulling and no biting, you sick freaks. Third, and it makes my stomach turn saying this, you need to, you know, wash. Especially our goyim friends. Being born a Gentile is no excuse for shoddy personal hygiene.
That part of your body should be stretchy enough to move. Finally, me, the prostitute, a woman, and you, the client, a man, are different. The most obvious difference would be my more-than-daily commitment to bathing and my normal range BMI.
Women and men, when it comes to sexual pleasure are different. Your stuff is on the outside; our stuff is mostly on the inside, except our clitoria. Your junk likes action and maybe a little roughhousing. Ours is the exact opposite. It usually means they want to paw at me, lick my entire face when they kiss me, bite and yank any nerve dense area of my body and watch me fall into Bacchae-esque throes of ecstasy.
