I self harmed, in the form of shallow cuts with a razor from age I started to address the issue when I first abstained from alcohol aged Adults in my family and the school were aware of the wounds all over my arms. I entered Minnesota model addiction counselling aged Pray for it to be removedβ¦.
Indoctrinating self abusive ideology over self compassion. The counsellors had their own history of abusing others. Why do I share about the ideological abuse I experienced?
Firstly to resist the hang over from the dogma. An attempt at resolution. Due to residual Shame tape memory I am still fed some of the same old bullshit in toxic thinking. I have to reassert reality rather than submit to trance suggestions. Wasted my formative years.
There has been a long shadow from it in consequences. I don't want to give an inch to those who want me disempowered. Freedom requires maintenance, the shackles of mind through indoctrination need to be exposed to the light of truth.
Liberty is an ongoing project. Complacency is not an option with the shadow of rigid religious thought. I exercise my freedom. I have memory of the psychological abuse. They had issues with their identification with my abusers and ideological support of venerating sanctity of family ties over my voice as victim. That is part of a general cultural denial of abuse. When self harming as a teen it was directly related to memory of child abuse triggered with my emergent puberty.
