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Ein kartoffel, das ist alles! Lithuania annexes YOU! Furthermore, don't even try to TRY to understand Lithuania without a canister or two of traditional beer resting safely in your stomach or, preferably, looking for a way out. The local brand "Svyturys" is fine for this sacret and holy purpose, "Bambalis" an abnormaly big plastic bottle of some cheap alien-kind substance you wouldn't even consider drinkable is even better. Lithuania is located near Stoneya, Landia and sometimes Churkey.
The people of Lithuanian ethnicity are currently enjoying the countless benefits of the morvelous European Union -- in other words, being able to eat french fries after years of suppression and persecution, also the ability to warp to Great Britain , Ireland , Spain and other great EU countries such as Uzbekistan. Lithuania is known for being home to many successful witches and wizards, cave trolls, sumo wrestlers and nuns.
Lithuanians, after much blackmailing and scientific research, have proven to be the long-lost descendants of an ancient tribe currently dwelling somewhere near the Geographic Center of Santaland and the future cultural birthplace of Europe for more nonsense see theory of Northern Athens. The natives are known to be very peaceful and sometimes drunk, except for the majority which are very drunk and sometimes peaceful. A tourist paradise all in one.
Many serveys have described Lithuanians as very social. They appear to have some sort of unexplainable urge to bond with foreign people on a daily basis, especially through middle fingers. If you come across a Lithuanian trying to communicate with you with the help of his ever-so rich body language, don't hesitate to respond, this heavy-duty ritual means he wants to go outside and talk, but in most cases just chain you to his truck, and then lend it to his blind grandma, who will hang you upside down in her underground teletubby shrine and attempt to brainwash you through non-stop TOP SHOP commercials.
Do not fart here. No, seriously, man. Farters will be captured, tied down and publicly executed. Survivors will be employed in the nearest postal office. If the urge hits you and you're unable to leave the country within 24 hours, please use specialised sucking devices to decontaminate and neutralize the farts. They can be found in every local police department.