OK, the Cardinals first game of has been uploaded into history. The Dodgers dominated Miles Mikolas and the Midwestern Farmers with such ease, they actually purchased the the Cardinals after the game and will turn the St. Louis franchise into a Triple A affiliate. This happened: the Cardinals lost to a much stronger opponent who will likely administer many similar beatdowns on the heads of many overmatched opponents while curb-stomping their way to victories or so.
The Dodgers season will look like a baseball version of Peaky Blinders. This did not happen: the Cardinals showed that they are a failed conglomeration, their season is a replay of , and all hope is lost. I learned a lot by scanning the hot takes. One gent told me fans knew the season was over before it started.
These fans declared it over last offseason. I can do better than that. Back in I pronounced the Cardinals season to be OVER because I could see this disaster in advance and called it way ahead of everyone else.
I expected overreaction, I wanted overreaction, and I absolutely craved overreaction. Well done, people. FanSided comes through with a huge win on opening day — otherwise known as the end of the world. Other bloggers must catch up. Most of all, I want to see more Jordan Montgomery columns. My only disappointment so far? But surely the panic is justified.
The Cardinals have only But if I had to come up with a few opening paragraphs in a column to fit these times, it would have gone something like this:. Louis institution, the team disgraced the franchise with a feckless no-show in Los Angeles. It was a surrender. It was Lee at Appomattox. Yes we could rationalize this worst of all days by pointing out that the Cubs lost in extra innings at Texas.
