Let me preface this by saying I grew up in a well-to-do family. In the beginning of my crack addiction I always swore to myself and to anyone who brought up the subject that I would never sell sex for money. Unfortunately, I was very naive and uninformed about the progression of addiction and I did not yet know what desperation felt like.
I do not remember my first trick, but I do remember many. I have had sex with as many as 12 men in a day. The busiest times were early in the morning when white men in business suits were on their way to work, or during lunch time when they could sneak off for a quickie. It was always about the money to me and I was always in a hurry to get it over with.
I spent no time talking or even pretending to be interested in the men. I'm sorry to say that, more often than not I had unprotected sex, and it is truly by the grace of God I never caught anything.
I am now six years sober and more than the thought of drugs, I am lured to the thought of getting back in to prostitution. Something about the thought of a man paying me to have sex with them turns me on. Instead I have a boring life and a boring job and from time to time to spice things up I tell my husband stories of different clients. I placed a personal ad with the offer to meet a client at a hotel for a private lap-dancing session. I had been a dancer for three years, but had started to hate going to the clubs.
I enjoyed the sensuality and intimacy of the job, but hated the crowds, noise and cigarette smoke. The ad stressed that the sessions would be dancing only. I asked that we meet first in a public place, for a cocktail or coffee. I phrased this as "us getting to know each other", but it was basically to give my gut a chance to tell me whether I would be safe with the person. I was polite, but firm about all of my requests. Very few of the initial responders followed up with me after this, but the ones who did sounded respectful and sane.
