Updated July 4, Reviewed by Devon Frye. I'd lost my previous, and up until then only, therapist to a better career ; she went on to become a trauma therapist for veterans at the VA. The sadness over her loss lingered for an extended period of time; it was a year in which I was sure that I would never enter treatment again.
For someone who lost his father and his stepfather, losing another seminal figure was emotionally devastating, although there was no aspect of me that would admit it. But then, something significant happened, which was, to a kid marred by recurrent abandonment, improbable; a mentor of mine strongly suggested that I resume clinical supervision, and she had the perfect supervisor for me. This was the beginning of our great adventure.
Over the next few weeks, I began to disclose more and more of my personal life to Eileen, focusing on the manifestations of my personal challenges in the context of my clinical work; I quickly realized that by being in supervision, I was already in treatment. So, we replaced supervision with it. With her inquisitive and penetrating style, Eileen dug deep, helping me focus on past sorrows that I had long ago repressed: the bullies, the grade-school teacher who told me that I was ugly, my abusive stepfather, an overprotective mother, and my terror of wanting perfection, believing that the lack thereof implied inadequacy and shame.
Little by little, and session by session, the mask was slowly peeled off, exposing the vulnerable boy who resided in a basement that was long forgotten and buried in the depths of a seemingly rational, adult mind. Eileen, like me, loved Irv Yalom; she told me that it was the relationship that healed, and it was our relationship that healed me.
As a fellow traveler along my side, she went with me into that dark, nearly deserted basement I perpetually feared entering. And she helped me understand what happened to me, while reinterpreting my experiences in more positive and, more importantly, more realistic forms. But, although she took me there, it was there where our mutual journey ended.
