This is a letter to all lazy men. A plea to men who continuously use women. After decades of constant battle to be seen as a human, some still seem not to understand that we are not yours to exploit. It is a battle so ridiculously basic, so hilariously straightforward, that most of us like to avoid the discussion of power in intimate relationships. Yet they experience it every single day.
But what about men? Why is it, again, that we need to fight this battle ourselves? Men, how could you still not see me as a human? How could you not respect me as a being? How are you so self-righteously lazy in enjoying your power? I realise intimacy is difficult to talk about, but we have to address how constructed gender roles bring pain into everyday intimate life.
I also realise that some might even disregard these thoughts I am currently writing down about cultural issues in intimacy as yet another illusion or emotional exaggeration. Gosh, just toughen up. My grandmother would tell me that women have to persevere, it is their job to do so.
They just have to. We nurture while others beat us down, and give us absolutely nothing in return. These problems of intimacy in relationships, in interactions, in family life, all these problems are lived through women.
They are the ones who are affected, they are the ones who suffer. Persevering in giving pleasure or emotional support to a man, without enjoying intimate life as an equal. It was not long ago that I realised how deeply we are all affected by these intimate power dynamics.
