The following is a document of nearly everything: pallid do-it-yourself guides for constructing cardboard ziggurats, solo squirms utilizing fishy read: dubious headgear, and tendencies towards interrupting public forums with a litany of ill-informed notions of physics and social norms, including but not limited to wearing nothing but a ventilation hose, waving bad signage at people, squeaking packing tape, and lectures examining the four major elements; basically, details suitable for a dada-inspired crockpot relegated to the kitchens of yore, i.
Please bear in mind that making this list cohesive is an ongoing process, and as such, the grammar might be a few apostrophes off. Also acknowledged here are the egregious blanks in the timeline, aka "BC" or "Before Crank"; those early pre and post art school hangover years, circa through All that is to say, we find this to be a reasonably enjoyable, albeit slightly indecipherable codex, and hope that you do too! So, find a comfy chair, grab some ciphers, squint thine eyes, and let the scrolls unroll!
Crank Sturgeon. Sturgis Cronkite zoomed out to the biblical desert by way of trade winds and lust to do a sitdown lecture on pathos, piezos, and piebald isms; expertly implemented by channeling a hoary high desert persona using that old AV suit jacket and the circa 2o16 HS Annex bicorneous twostep hybrid. Pocket noise? We got you. Suitcase of curdling clangorous clatter? You are herd. Crank found his old tin cup, donned a new Amazon Fulfillment Beluga Inversion, and joined the ranks of his noise brethren, Cole and Jess of War Hippy for an eastern trek to far, far away New York.
Witnessing first hand accounts of sleep deprivation, omen foxes, off coloured humour, and even bouts of food poisoning, the trio nevertheless cast sonic palls with countless old pals and welcomed new family audiolings to the global commune of ecstatic sound; furthermore landing relatively unscathed at their destination with glorious aplomb and facemelt. The roster reads as follows: Glob, Denver, CO We're pretty certain there was an influence of something other than kombucha or government surveillance droning going down as well; let those matters be determined by another failing democracy.
Now pack your bags. Apohadion Theater, Portland, ME Employing his extra mammalian legs he swore to never again relive, the love was reborn in a tidy outdoor evening game of crumpled kickball and audience whisper chanting.
